in the dark

Geke Minnema + unknown

because it is so much easier to run

weheartit

I'm scared! I'm so fucking scared! I think that I'm maybe love him, I really do! But I can’t, not him! I know that something is wrong, why is he so nice and perfect all the time! WHYY??!! And he is choosing me?! Come on man, there are so many girls out there, take THEM!! Not me…!!

This is making me so scared, because I know it can’t be true! I just know it! About two weeks from now he is coming to visit me (we live in two different cities), and I really really want him to come, but at the same time I really don’t. I know that I am going to say that I am sick so he can absolutely not come!! I know that I am going to do that! Do you want the reason? I always do that, when I like someone I run!! Because running is so much easier that stay! Now I think I decided not to run, but I don’t now if I can do that because I am scared as hell!! I scared that he is like all the others guys… okay, it’s not like I had 20 boyfriends… actually it’s more like one… or can I say .5…?

I just don’t know what to do! I am so confused! I want to love him but I can’t because everything I see is perfection, and no one is perfect! I know that! I have all these feelings inside of me, and I can’t tell him.. I just can’t!! Sometimes when we talk, I just want him to know everything! I mean, we have been friends for 1,5 years now, and I wrote in a text (when I was out with my friends—to drunk for my own best..xD ) that I think I like him more than a friend.. the next day I got a text back… I felt the same way!! Still, I am here in my room, can’t study to a big finale because I am thinking of all this while I receive so cute and wonderful texts from him all the time…! My friends are telling me to chill out! Wait until he comes! But that is the problem!! I know I am going to fix so he’s not coming!

I hate to run! But I hate to stay too! For now, I hate to be in love…! I just hate it so much! And the worst part is that I don’t think I am going to change my mind! Because it is so much easier to run! And do you know what? I love to run! Run is my love! Forever!!!

demi lovato singer music career

Demetria Devonne "Demi" Lovatoborn August 20, 1992 is an American actress and singer-songwriter. Her earliest roles included a part on Barney & Friends, before she became better known for her roles as Mitchie Torres in the Camp Rock movies, as Sonny Munroe in Sonny with a Chance and as the star of the 2009 movie Princess Protection Program.
As a solo musical artist, Lovato released her debut album Don't Forget on September 23, 2008. The album debuted at #2 on the Billboard 200 selling 89,000 copies in the first week. It has since sold over 473,000 records in the US. Lovato stated in an interview that the album was recorded in ten days. Lovato released her second album, Here We Go Again, on July 21, 2009. The album debuted at #1 on the Billboard 200 selling 108,000 copies in the first week.
Contents
* 1 Early life
* 2 Music career
o 2.1 2007–08: Musical beginnings and soundtrack appearances
o 2.2 2008–09: Don't Forget and Here We Go Again
o 2.3 2010–present: Camp Rock 2 and third studio album
* 3 Acting career
* 4 Other work
o 4.1 Philanthropy
* 5 Image and personal life
o 5.1 Treatment center stint
o 5.2 Relationships
* 6 Filmography
* 7 Discography
* 8 See also
* 9 Awards
* 10 References
* 11 External links
Early life
Lovato was born in Dallas, Texas to Patrick Lovato and Dianna Hart De La Garza. She is of Mexican, Irish and Italian descent.She has an older sister Dallas Lovato and a younger half sister, Madison De La Garza. Her mother was a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader and country recording artist; her father moved to New Mexico after their marriage ended in 1994. She earned a high school diploma through homeschooling in April 2009. She began playing piano at the age of seven.
Music career
2007–08: Musical beginnings and soundtrack appearances
Before any of Lovato's music was officially released a few of her original songs, including "Shadow," were featured on the show As The Bell Rings. Lovato also sang a cover of "That's How You Know" from the film Enchanted that was released on DisneyMania 6 on May 20, 2008.
In June and July 2008, Lovato performed at various House of Blues and parks for her Demi Live! Warm Up Tour in preparation for the release of her debut album and the Burnin' Up Tour with the Jonas Brothers. The soundtrack to the Disney Channel Original Movie Camp Rock was released in June 2008. Lovato was featured on four of the tracks on the soundtrack including "This is Me", a duet with Joe Jonas. "This Is Me" peaked at number nine on the Billboard Hot 100. Lovato served as the opening act in the Jonas Brothers' Burnin' Up Tour from July through September 2008. Several concerts on the tour were filmed as footage for a 3-D concert film titled Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience which was released on February 27, 2009. Lovato was featured in the film performing "This Is Me" with Joe Jonas.
Lovato also appears on two soundtrack albums in 2010. She recorded songs for the Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam soundtrack, which was released on August 10, 2010, and the Sonny With a Chance soundtrack in late 2010.
2008–09: Don't Forget and Here We Go Again
On September 23, 2008, Lovato released her debut album Don't Forget. The album peaked at number two on the Billboard 200, selling 89,000 units in its first week of release. It has since sold over 473,000 records in the US. Lovato stated in an interview that the album was recorded in ten days.
The album was preceded by the lead single "Get Back", which was released on August 12, 2008 and reached number forty-three on the Hot 100. In December 2008, the second single "La La Land" was released and reached number fifty-two on the Hot 100. In March 2009, the third single "Don't Forget" was released and reached number forty-one on the Hot 100, becoming her most successful solo single at the time.
An EP, Moves Me, was released in December 2008 by the Well Go USA label, but not under Lovato's support. The EP featured songs recorded by Lovato before being signed by Hollywood Records.
In 2009, Lovato recorded "One and the Same" for Princess Protection Program as a duet with Gomez – they both appear in the film.
In early 2009, it was announced that Lovato would be embarking on the Summer Tour 2009 in order to promote her sophomore album, which she stated would be released in the summer of 2009. The tour began on June 21, 2009 in Hartford, Connecticut and concluded on August 24, 2009 in Manchester, New Hampshire.
Lovato and her band performing in her 2009 Summer Tour
Lovato released her second studio album, Here We Go Again on July 21, 2009. The album debuted at number one on the Billboard 200 with 108,000 records sold in its first week. Prior to the album's release Lovato stated: "It’s going to take a different sound, so hopefully it goes over well. I sing a lot of rock, but this time I want to do more John Mayer-ish type of songs. Hopefully I can write with people like him. The album was more inspired by acoustic music than her debut's pop rock-influenced sound.
The album received a score of 65/100 from Metacritic. Stephen Thomas Erlewine of Allmusic noted that the album was not as much fun as Lovato's previous album, Don't Forget, but he praised "Here We Go Again," "Solo," "Remember December," and "So Far So Great" as high points, for being "ideally matched to Lovato's adolescent energy and spirit, which remain her most appealing qualities. Chicago Tribune also gave the album five stars, saying "No sophomore slump for these young artists". Kerri Mason of Billboard praised the album for not relying heavily on production compared to other Disney Channel artists and called Lovato "a natural talent who could really take flight after outgrowing Disney. Simon Vozick-Levinson of Entertainment Weekly praised the more rock-oriented tracks such as "Got Dynamite," calling them suggestions of "a direction that might set her apart in years to come.
In December 2009, Allmusic ranked Here We Go Again as one of the best pop albums of 2009
In 2010, the album was nominated for 3 Teen Choice Awards, "Choice Album", "Choice Love Song" and Lovato for "Choice Music Breakout Artist: Female".
The album was preceded by the lead single, "Here We Go Again", which was released on June 23, 2009. It became Lovato's highest charting single as it reached number 15 on the Billboard Hot 100. The album's second single, "Remember December", was released on November 17, 2009 but only managed to reach number six on the Bubbling Under Hot 100 (number 106 on the Hot 100).
She appeared on We the Kings's second studio album Smile Kid as well. The album was released December 8, 2009. On the album, she contributes guest vocals to the song "We'll Be a Dream", which was later released as single in March 2010. The music video for the song was released on April 22, 2010 through MTV.com
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Marion Cotillard career Early work

Marion Cotillard French pronunciation:born 30 September 1975 is a French actress. She garnered critical acclaim for her roles in films such as My Sex Life... or How I Got Into an Argument, Taxi, Furia and Jeux d'enfants. She has also appeared in such films as Big Fish, A Very Long Engagement (for which she received a César Award for Best Supporting Actress), A Good Year, Public Enemies, Nine, Inception and La Vie en Rose.
She won the Academy Award for Best Actress, BAFTA Award for Best Actress, César for Best Actress and the Golden Globe for Best Actress in Musical or a Comedy for her portrayal of French singer Édith Piaf in La Vie en Rose. She made film history by becoming the first person to win an Academy Award for a French language performance. In 2010 she received a Golden Globe nomination for her performance in the musical Nine.
Contents
* 1 Family
* 2 Career
o 2.1 Early work (1993–2002)
o 2.2 Breakthrough (2003–2006)
o 2.3 Critical success (2007–present)
* 3 Other projects
* 4 Personal life
* 5 Filmography
* 6 Awards and nominations
o 6.1 Academy Award milestones
o 6.2 Other awards
* 7 References
* 8 External links
Family
Cotillard was born in Paris and grew up around Orléans, Loiret, in an artistically inclined, "bustling, creative household". Her father, Jean-Claude Cotillard, is an actor, teacher, former mime, and 2006 Molière Award-winning director of Breton descent (his mother, Léontine Cotillard, was born in March 1909 and still lives in Plémet, Brittany; she recently celebrated her 101st birthday). Cotillard's mother, Niseema Theillaud, is also an actress and drama teacher.She has two younger twin brothers, Quentin and Guillaume. Quentin Cotillard is a sculptor and painter living in San Francisco, United States, with his wife, Elaine O'Malley Cotillard, "a former Dutch National Ballet dancer who grew up in Marin County, and is now a San Francisco fashion designer". Guillaume Cotillard is a screenwriter and director.
Cotillard began acting during her childhood, appearing on stage in one of her father's plays.
Career
Early work (1993–2002)
After small appearances and performances in theater, Cotillard had occasional and minor roles in television series such as Highlander, but her career as a film actress began in the mid-1990s with small but noticeable roles in such films as Arnaud Desplechin's My Sex Life... or How I Got Into an Argument. Cotillard appeared in the comedy film La belle verte, directed by Coline Serreau. Then came her breakthrough out of cinephiles' circles when she starred in Gérard Pirès's action comedy Taxi. In the film, she plays Lili Bertineau who becomes Daniel's girlfriend. Cotillard reprised the role in two sequels. She then ventured into anticipation science fiction with Alexandre Aja's Furia (1999).
Cotillard appeared in Pierre Grimblat's film Lisa as Young Lisa, alongside Jeanne Moreau, Swiss novel-adaptation War drama In The Highlands. She starred in Gilles Paquet-Brenner's film Les jolies choses, adapted from the work of subversive feminist writer Virginie Despentes. In the drama, Cotillard portrayed the characters of two twins of completely opposite characters, Lucie and Marie. She was nominated for a César Award for her performance. In Guillaume Nicloux's thriller Une affaire privée she appeared as Clarisse, friend of the disappeared.
Breakthrough (2003–2006)
Cotillard starred with Guillaume Canet in the romantic comedy film Love Me If You Dare as Sophie Kowalsky, the daughter of Polish immigrants. The film was directed by Yann Samuel. Cotillard had a notable supporting role in Tim Burton's film Big Fish, where she appeared alongside Ewan McGregor, Billy Crudup, Jessica Lange and Allison Lohman. In the film she plays Joséphine, the French wife of William Bloom. She appeared in two critically successful films, Jean-Pierre Jeunet's A Very Long Engagement as Tina Lombardi, for which she won a César Award for Best Supporting Actress, and appeared in the mystery thriller Innocence as Mademoiselle Éva.
In 2005, Cotillard starred in Steve Suissa's romantic drama Cavalcade as Alizée. She also appeared in Abel Ferrara's religious drama Mary alongside Forest Whitaker and Juliette Binoche. Marion played Isabelle Kruger and Alice in the thriller film La Boîte noire, directed by Richard Berry. She appeared in the film Fair Play as Nicole. Cotillard starred in Ridley Scott's romantic comedy A Good Year, in which she portrayed Fanny Chenal, a small Provençal town French café owner opposite Russell Crowe as a Londoner who inherits a local property. She appeared in Belgian comedy Dikkenek, and learned to play the cello for her role as a soloist in the satirical coming-of-age film You and Me.
Critical success (2007–present)
She was chosen by director Olivier Dahan to portray the French singer Édith Piaf in the biopic La Vie en Rose before he had even met her, saying that he noticed a similarity between Piaf's and Cotillard's eyes. Producer Ilan Goldman accepted and defended the choice even though distributors TFM reduced the money they gave to finance the film thinking Cotillard wasn't "bankable" enough an actress. Her portrayal was widely praised, including by the eminent theatre director Sir Trevor Nunn, who described it as "one of the greatest performances on film ever. It was dubbed "the most awaited film of 2007" in France, where some critics said that she had reincarnated Édith Piaf to sing one last time on stage.
On February 10, 2008, Cotillard became the first French actress to be awarded the BAFTA Award for Best Actress in a Leading Role since Stéphane Audran in 1973. She is the first actress to win a Golden Globe for a foreign language performance since 1972, when Liv Ullmann won for The Emigrants. She is also the first person to win a (Comedy or Musical) Golden Globe for a foreign language performance.
On February 22, 2008, she was awarded the César Award for Best Actress for her role in La Vie en Rose, becoming the first woman and second person (after Adrien Brody, The Pianist) to win both a Cesar and an Oscar for the same performance. Cotillard is the second French cinema actress to win this award and the third overall to receive an Academy Award. She is the first Best Actress winner in a non-English language performance since Sophia Loren's win in 1961. She is also the first and so far only winner of an Academy Award for a performance in the French language. In her Oscar acceptance speech, Cotillard proclaimed "thank you life, thank you love" and, speaking of Los Angeles, said "it is true, there is some angels (sic) in this city!"
The day following the ceremony, Cotillard was congratulated and praised by the President of France Nicolas Sarkozy in a statement saying, "I would like to extend my warmest congratulations to Marion Cotillard, who has just received the Oscar for Best Actress for her masterful interpretation of Édith Piaf in La Vie en Rose, directed by Olivier Dahan. Half a century after Simone Signoret, a French artist has received the Best Actress award at the Oscars. It was a good omen that Catherine Allegret, Simone Signoret's daughter, herself had a role in La Vie en Rose. Marion Cotillard embodies an Édith Piaf who is unsettling in her realism, emotion and passion. Her interpretation brings to life the story of a woman who gave French chanson its acclaim and authenticity; a singer, too, who closely united France and America."[citation needed]
As La Vie En Rose was also a Czech production, as she mentioned in her César acceptance speech, on March 1, 2008, Cotillard won a Czech Lion Award for Best Actress. She could not attend the ceremony in Prague due to the filming of Public Enemies. Her friend Pavlína Němcová - who played the journalist in La vie en Rose - was there to accept the award on her behalf.
On June 24, 2008, Cotillard was one of 105 individuals invited to join the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.
Cotillard in July 2009
Cotillard starred alongside Johnny Depp in Public Enemies, released in the United States on July 1, 2009. Later that year, Cotillard appeared in the film adaptation of the musical Nine,[14] directed by Rob Marshall, and co-starring Daniel Day-Lewis, Penélope Cruz, Judi Dench, Nicole Kidman, Sophia Loren and Kate Hudson. On December 15, 2009, Cotillard was nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Actress - Musical or Comedy for her performance in the film. The film was released on December 18, 2009
For her role in the musical Nine as Luisa Contini, Time magazine ranked her as the fifth best performance by a female in 2009.[15] She was ranked just behind Mo'Nique, Carey Mulligan, Saoirse Ronan and Meryl Streep. She was awarded the Desert Palm Achievement Actress Award at the 2010 Palm Springs International Film Festival for the role.
She appeared as the main antagonist "Mal Cobb" in Christopher Nolan's film Inception, alongside Leonardo DiCaprio and Ellen Page, and released on July 16, 2010. She will co-star alongside Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law, Kate Winslet and Matt Damon in Steven Soderberg's thriller film Contagion.
She will also in appear in Woody Allen's Midnight in Paris alongside Rachel McAdams and Owen Wilson.
On March 15, 2010 Cotillard was made a Chevalier (Knight) of the Ordre des Arts et des Lettres (Order of the Arts and Letters) by the French government for her "contribution to the enrichment of French culture"
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you can't walk back in

skins UK + unknown

I want to fall in love with you.

weheartit

I want to fall in love with you.

No special reason behind it. I just do. As you probably know, I've been wanting a boyfriend for months now, but Lady Luck hasn't been on my side. There were a couple of guys who came along, but neither of them were my idea of boyfriend material.

I'm not saying you are, but I realized I quite like you, and that makes all the difference. See, I don't remember much about you, except that you were with my cousin for about a year or longer and that I met you once before (only to embarrass myself by drinking beyond my limit and throwing up). I have a vague memory of talking to you about my cousin when you were no longer together. It was about her relationship with her then new boyfriend. Something you said about cherishing her stuck, for some reason, and since then I've convinced myself that breaking up with you was one of the most stupid things she's ever done in her life.

I probably shouldn't have initiated the online conversation that led to this. By this, I mean this—all this talking we do through text, sometimes through chat.

I mean, it's probably nothing.

But I must admit I've been deriving some sort of felicity from our correspondence.

Which is probably wrong. We're friends, aren't we? For me, at least, we are. I'm too scared to ask you anything because it might put you off and cause you to distance yourself from me, so I hold myself back from throwing stupid questions in your direction and plague myself instead with torturous what-ifs lacking definite answers.

I want to fall in love with you. The want in this statement implies a consciousness on my part, a decision waiting to be made. Should I jump or shouldn't I?

I really don't know.

I've been trying to weigh the pros and the cons, but I have trouble organizing the chaos in my head, so I still haven't arrived at a conclusion. Only one thing has been fully established so far: I like you. And, inevitably, I find myself hoping you'd like me too.

When such hope begins to burn in my system, I panic. And for good reason. I am putting myself in a vulnerable position because of this hope. Don't I always say that hope leads to heartbreak? And I honestly believe that. Slowly, I am becoming attached to the experience of getting good morning messages from you, of being said good night to. Then I wonder if it's you or if it's the attention I am snagging from you that has this warm feeling circling in my chest. Twice I had thanked you for your attention, and twice you'd jokingly called me emo for it. I really do appreciate it though.

I'm overanalyzing things, I know. It would be much easier to just ask you, of course, but it's too risky to do so. Besides, we've only just been talking for a week, so what the hell, right? I'm scared of freaking you out, so I'll shut up for now.

And I know you probably won't get to read this but I'm writing it anyway, just to get the shit off my head even just for a second.

I want to fall in love with you.

But according to societal norms, it's too early for love so I will like you for now. I'll make an attempt to extinguish the tiny flicker of hope buried under my skin, but I'll hold on to the possibility of you getting me a pack of Life Savers, just as you said you would.

That day, when I finally saw you again, my heart raced I couldn't help fidgeting with my phone. Games are a good distraction so I consumed the remaining time trying to beat a tough level in a game called Taiko no Tatsujin. You said I looked like I wanted to smash my phone against a wall. I probably looked retarded. I wish I were cute instead.

I don't remember much about you, but I don't think I can forget you now.

I want to go out with you on a movie date or something. Hang out with you at an empty parking lot and talk to you about the stupidest things. But I can't ask you out. I'm not brave enough. Not because I'm scared of rejection but because it might mean having to give up on the inside joke involving mouthwash and the poring faced emoticon. And more than being rejected, it's losing these things that keep me from popping the question.

And then there's you. I mean, this has been all about me, me, me so far, so let's talk about you. You do have someone you like, don't you? Maybe someone you love, even. Of course, I'm only making assumptions, and if there's one piece of advice I get told often by my friends, it's to stop assuming. Easier said than done, though.

This is so damn complicated.

I want to fall in love with you.

And if this keeps up, I might just do.

- Star

hair update ××

= Jotta pysyisitte ajantasalla mun hiuksista. ;---)

Ensinnäki antakaa anteeks muokkaus.. Kaksi viikkoa taaksepäin maanantaina lampsin parturiin sen näkösen et oisin kyllästyny täysin toho pitkään ottariin (vaikkei asia sinänsä näin ollut), joten kävin leikauttaas sen ja kuolleita latvoja yms. Sillo ois pitäny tulla värjäys kans mut ne oli sekoillut siel amiksen parturis jotain ja siks en saanu värjäystä. (sisko sen sijaan sai pyhpyh >:( ) Viime merkinnässä näitte jo miten lyhyeks se leikattiin, mut onneks siin on sellanen kikka et saan sen melkein miten vaan! Tolla tarkotan sitä et saan sen hyvin sivuun, tasaseks otsalle, sillei jännästi hyvin sivuun jnejne, good job! ´33`

 

Täs se onkin vedetty sivuun, ja sen viikon torstaina itse värjäilin tukkaa. Tosin lopputulos ei ollut se kuviteltu, mun oli tarkotus värjätä vaan päältä vaaleeks ja jättää se ruskee sinne alle. :c Luulin et pärjäisin ilman folioo mut ku pesin värii pois se vähäse levis.. jote sain sitte vaaleeta ja sitäkin vaaleempaa, vaaleen ruskeeta ja pissaaa. Tosin onneks hopeashampoota oli viel jäljel, vaikkei auttanut niin paljoa ku ois tarvinnu. :'----) Mut tykkäsin tosta tosi paljon, muutenki oli ihana nähdä pitkästä aikaa vaaleeta pääs! ;__;; ♥

Pitkän harkinnan jälkeen päädyin samaiseen amiksen kampaamoon seuraavana maanantaina (eli viime maanantai), koska äitee oli ehtiny tilata jo uude ajan värjäykselle viime käynnillä, ja sovittii et jos en haluukkaa värjätä ne vaa peruu sen. Mut menin siis silti, ja värjättiin alle ruskeeta mikä mulla oli kotonaki suunnitelma, mut se mun ruskee/vaalee sellane vaihtu vaan tosi tummaan sävyyn. ;< Mut ei se mua loppupeleis enää haittaa, sillä nääkin osoittautu tosi kivaks, eikä mulla oo ikinä ollut noin tummaa värii pääs (tai ehk joskus takaletis vuonna nakki ja kallio), jote kiva ku sain sen vaaleen + tumman! x))

(Anteeks kämäset poset, mutku oon kuvannu noit webil vaan sitä varten et saisin niitä tänne teille näytettäväkski. :< Joten unohdetaan naama ja keskittykää vain tukkaaan!)

Mut pääasia miks halusin tulla äkkiä ennen huomista päivittelee, niin lähen huomenna Tampereelle! Miksikö näin? Sillä koko viikonlopun idea on viettää Tatin (one of mah friend) täys-ihmisyys-synttäreitä, ja lähetää jo huomenna (pe) Treelle päin, ja lauantaina jatketaan Hesaan, koska dindindindinn..



mennään kattoo Bring Me The Horizonia. Täs vaihees kaikki on varmaan sillei 'wtf?++' xxD Mutta koska neiti on päivänsankari ja halus keikalle ja sinne seuraa, ja mikä parasta ILMASET LIPUT HALELUJAH joten joo kyl mä kai kestän. Sil mun ennakko tiedot ois et joku emo/skene bändi joka soittaa kissantappo musaa.. Ei ihan mun tyylii mut koska en joudu maksaa mitn niin kuuntelen keikan alusta loppuun kunnialla. :: D

Toivottavasti matka menis hyvin, eikä rahaa kuluis liikaa. :/ (tosin mun ruokaki on luvattu maksaa niinii.)

Onko keikalle tulijoita? Onko tän bändin tai tän tyyppisestä musasta kiinnostuneita? Go ahead and tell me! (*^θ^*)/

Joka tapaukses hyviä viikonloppuja! :3 ♥

there's something about you

bunny jennyy + unknown

please don't forget me

unknown

Often I couldn't type anything out -the words weren't good enough, and I would inevitably leave it off. To say the least, everything I wanted to say wasn't really a mystery, I felt like I had nothing new to offer.

My story? Yeah, we fell in love. Then we fell out of it.

Well, he, did anyway.

It's been a year now, since I said goodbye. The reasons are now all fuzzy now, and I can't remember if it was him or I. I try to reason with myself. Sure, he might have loved me but he had too many skeletons in his closet, too many secrets he kept hidden away from the world. Even from the one, he proclaimed to have been madly, truly and deeply in love with. I like to think that I stayed as long as I could and that I loved with every ounce of my being, but now, the odds were finally against us, and it was time to call it quits.

You asked me to stay. Just a silent whisper. I knew you were trying your best, but I wanted...I needed more than that. All those nights that you and I stayed up fighting, crying and hurting, I really thought somehow in the midst of it all, we'd make it. We were fifteen and sixteen, but I swear, I will never be as in love with anyone else as I was with you. And that thought truly haunts me, because whoever are next, they have to struggle with the remaining pieces of me. They have to muddle through, doing the best they can, even if I secretly know that nobody else could compare.

I can't believe my insanity sometimes either, those nights that I would dream of you, confessing that it was me you still wanted. A part of me still needs you to be brave and tell me before we leave high school for good that you love me, no matter the mistakes shared between us.

But time has passed, too much time. There is too much distance between the both of us, and we're so far away that I wonder if what we had, what we shared...were we even in the same world? Was there really a time when it was just you and me? Was there really a time when we loved one another?

What I would give to let you go, every bit of you. Your voice, your hair, your arms and hands, and the taste of your lips still on mine.

But I'm too late, and you're gone for good now.
You've moved on now and that girl - well, she's just amazing. Her silky black hair, her smile, her wonderful heart. You really did better second time around, didn't you? But I'm not mad, I'm mad at myself. Somewhere deep down in the shallow pits of my heart, I've wanted to confess this to you for so long now. Peter, I still love you and I'm sorry.

Please don't ever forget what we had. Please don't forget me. Please.

-A

Won't be seventeen forever

Koska täällä Englannissa on vielä 25.1, se tarkottaa että TÄNÄÄN KLO 14 TÄYTIN 18!!!

kuva weheartit.com

Tietysti haluaisin viettää mun synttäreitä Suomessa, mutta sattuneesta syystä alkaa Suomen baareissa pörrääminen vasta maaliskuussa. Mutta onneks niitä clubeja ym. riittää täälläkin, joten näillä näkymin jo heti keskiviikkoiltana mennään juhlimaan. ;--)
Tänään kävin vaan normisti työharjottelussa, mut työkaverit anto mulle pienen lahjan + maailman parhaan suklaakakun Marks&Spenceriltä. Töitten jälkeen piti tietty mennä kauppaan käyttämään täysikäisille suotuja etuuksia.. ;D Myyjä ois kyllä voinu onnitella kun katto paperit, pyh!
Koska Kristina oli valitettavasti kipee ei päästy ulos syömään, mut tilattiin sit vähän jotain tänne kämpille. :)
Ei kyllä tunnu olo yhtään täysikäseltä, vanhalta vaan. XD Mulla oli eilen jo pien ikäkriisi kun oli viimenen päivä alaikäsenä.
Mut jospa tää tästä. 8)

Loppuun biisi jota on soitettu töissä aika useesti.

what do you do...

ffffound

that wonderful night

unknown

We shared the perfect night. I actually think that it was one of the best nights of my life. It wasn’t perfect because you’re such a great guy or because I was in love with you or anything, it was perfect because I really needed that at that time. I had spent too many days, weeks, months thinking that I would never be loved, no one I was interested in would ever show any interest in me, and then you came along. Me and my friend J were on a trip to London, we met up with her friend S at a pub and he had brought his friend, A. And from being introduced to you, shaking your hand and drowning in your blue eyes, to kissing goodbye to never see you again, was just perfect. Like a scene from a movie, or a chapter in a book.

At the pub we were sitting and chatting, drinking beer, I was sitting next to you. Your feet touched mine and neither of us moved our feet back. We had barely talked to each other but I could feel you press your leg against mine, so we stayed like that. With entangled legs, occasional long stares into your infinitely deep blue eyes, flirty smiles and heavy heartbeats. Even writing this makes my heart pound faster. Anyway, as we left the pub you took my hand, and it was all so natural. We stopped on the way to S's house for some kisses, and you and your British accent were so very charming. So we spent the night kissing and cuddling on a mattress on S's floor, you touching my hair, me listening to your heartbeats.

I replay this scene in my head quite often, mostly because I am so very fond of it and never want to forget it. But mostly I hope to relive it soon again, but then with someone else, someone I love.

So I just want to thank you, A, thank you for that wonderful night. Because thanks to that night I now believe that I some day will fall in love for real. Not with you, but now I know love can exist, even for me. I just have to be patient.

Too much to tell these things

Tässä vihdoin nää mun Lontoon ostokset! ☆

♦ Lontoo -toppi
♦ Sormuksia (ruusu, kultanen kruunu, 3 kpl mustia mis söpö kuviointi♥)
♦ Paavo Pesusieni -paita (ei pyykinpesun takia kuvas) ja kaupanpäälle saadut jäätävät paavo housut. (:: D)
♦ Täydelliset vaaleanpunaiset nappikuulokkeet ♥
♦ Karvahattu
♦ Iskän ostama lontoo-kortti ja Burger kingistä pihistetty pussi. ;u; eiks ookki söpö.
♦ Huppari ja panta ☆☆☆

Kävin kans joku viikko sitte pyöriis kauoungis, ja tarttu mukaan;

♦ got2b hiuslakka (joku työntekijä oikee kyyläs et ostaisinko ton vai en -.-´´)
♦ Vihreä vyö (edistystä takeru cossiin *--*)
♦ Täydelliset kaulakoru ja sormus

hyi mun ilme ja laatu Ajattelin kans käydä kokeilees mun himoitsemii ruutupaitoi, tummansininen oli liian iso eikä sopinut yhtään, mut vaikka toi punane on kans iso, niin kokeilin sellast mis oli huppu - ja se näytti iha älyttömän kivalta! ;__;; Ja vaikkei punane sovi mulle yhtään, nii tos se ei näytä läheskään nii pahalta. :--DD Hinta oli vaan valitettavasti ylitsepääsemätön kun ottaa huomioon et multa löytyy muutenki liikaa vaatteita.

Tein hienon havainnon kans, mun hiukset on itseasias kasvany tän puolen vuoden aikana tosi paljon! ;-; ainaki tos ne näyttää mun mittakaavas pitkiltä, sillä livenä nää tuntuu&näyttää paaaljon lyhkäsemmilt. :: D

Ja toi laukku mikä ylempänä näky ehei en löytäny sitä täält kamelin pyllyst VAAN tilasin n. 2 viikkoa sitten Cybershopista, koska pelkään toisen laukun hajoavan. ;__; Ja samas tilaukses oli kans..

Taydelliset nallen silmat -piilarit! Olin iha fiiliksis ku sain noi, ja avasinki sen samantien tarkoituksena heti testailla, niin käviki hassusti ku sain sen ekan piilarin silmään nii se tuntu liikaa et oli pakko ottaa pois, ja ku yritin laittaa sitä takas se tippu patterin sisälle.. Voitte kuvitella sen tuskan.
Ne tyypit oli kans unohtanut laittaa piilarikotelot, joten neki saapui myöhäs täs päiviä sitten. Ja oon jo saanu laitettuu toisen piilarin tilaukseen ja jopa saanu sen~

Ekaks olin aatellu käyttäväni noit tyylii joka päivä, mut en teekkään niin ku pelkään et jos totun liikaa noihin, nii en pystyis elää enää omil silmien väril. Vaikkei mun silmät oo ruskeet nii onha ne kuitenki iha muksat. :--(

Noista ylemmist kuvist ei sitä huomaa, mut kaks viikkoo taaksepäin oli pelkästään ripsarilla eletty! Syy yksi aattelin sen säästävän jollain budjetilla mun meikkejä, ja syy kaksi sain nukkua pidempään aamusin eikä tarvinnu elää kiireessä. Okei on vielä syy kolme, mua ei oo innostanu ehostamaan mun ulkonäköö mitenkää. :< En ees tuupeerannu hiuksii ja kunnon sivuottari oli vaa torstaina. :/ Tää kertookin jo et tartten jotain uutta hehkuu ulkonäköön ja lisää itseluottamusta joka onkin valitettavasti olemattoman pieni eli se 1mmx1mm. :)

Btw, leivon kans viis päivää myöhäs Mikun synttäreist kyseiselle herralle kakun. :'---) Ainakin se oli hyvää, mitä ny oli pakko tunkee noit mun jouluna saatuja marmelaadi karkkei tonne. :_D

Oon katellu lähi aikoina paljo doramaa! Oliko viime viikolla katoin Life -nimisen sarjan kokonaan, ja voin sanoo et suosittelen ehottomasti! ♥ Oikeesti, kohos mun listoil kyl heti ensimmäisten joukkoon! Toi oli vaan niin ihana, välis tuntu et hermot menee ja yllättävää mite jossai välis vihasin joitai hahmoi yli kaiken, mut si taas yhtäkkii tunsin iha kauheet sympatiaa. : D: D Voisin kirjottaa romaanin kuinka paljo tykkäsin mut jätän ehk toiseen kertaan.

paaitsi pakkomaininta vaik tykkäsin pääosin kaikista hahmoist niin sivuhahmoina samalta luokalta olevat pojat oli ihanii. xxD Okei oon kauhee mut myönnän et kyyläsin mahdollisimman tarkasti aina niitä päähenkilön luokalla olevii poikii ku niitä näytettiin. :---( koska söpöt aasialaiset koulupojat = ♥

Virgin 2nd (Jyouou Virgin) on kans nähty, ja seki oli iha jees. :--) Katoin youtubesta sellasia episodeja mist oli otettu kohtii pois, pyh. :/ mut ehkä jostain löydän tän kokonaisena joten näkisin tän ihan alusta loppuun! Mut mieliinpainuvin hahmo oli Shuri ja..

Nana, joka on siis ainut blondi kuvassa. En osaa ruveta luokittelee ketkä hahmoist oli gyarui tai vaikutteita ottanut etcetc mut toi oli silmiinpistävin! Asennetta löyty ainaki kyllä. :: D Oon kyllä kateellinen sen hiuksista, paksut ja pitkät, ja varsinnki tos leffas ne oli yhes kohtaa laitettu ihanasti. :<

Ja sarja mitä täl hetkel katon on Nobuta wo produce! Vaikuttaa tosi lupaavalta, oon nauranu ton takii tääl koko päivän ittekseni. ::----D Mut hahmot on iha äly sulosii, varsinkin sellaset huumorimiehet iskee muhu niinku toi keskellä oleva, sille oon nauraa saanut eniten. ;-; ♥

anteeks oon heruttanu tätä kuvaa jo muualleki mut ahhihihihihihi love this moment. : D: D: D: Dd Tuun heti ilmottaa ja ihkuttamaan tätä kun oon saanu katottuu loppuun!

Anteeks pitkä ja sekava teksti, mut pitää saada tää kirjotettuu äkkii sil joudun pois koneelt, joten moimoooi! :----)♥