someone loves you out there

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promise me that nothing has changed

unknown

It's the holidays. I guess I never fully expected you to come home by now, but I did fully hope you would.

I think about that hot muggy July day at the downtown Milan station often. & how I cried the entire 3 hour ride back because I didn't know when I would see you again.

The pain then was unbearable. I guess you could say that it has now become bearable. That doesn't mean that I don't think about you everyday and wish that things could have been different.

I can no longer handle the 6000 mile difference. I want to be best friends that love & miss each other. And please just reassure me that I will be the first person you call when you land in L.A. Promise me that nothing has changed.

After everything that I happened, I still think about the way it was in the beginning. & Even though I'm moving on, this doesn't mean that I won't still be here once the circumstances have changed and our stars are finally aligned properly.

Know that I think about you.

Mi manchi, amore mio.

-K

Top 5 Photoshoot Looks

Kristen had some fantastic photo spreads this year, hopefully 2011 will treat us the same and we’ll see some spreads for Kristen’s upcoming movies ‘On the Road’ and Breaking Dawn.

Below are my five favourite shoots from 2010 in order of my personal preference. Let me know what your favourite shoot from 2010 was by voting on the poll below.

Merry Christmas everyone.

 

I simply adored Elle UK’s spread and styling.

 

Despite being a small feature, this small VOGUE piece stole my heart.

 

I adored seeing Kristen is some of the outfits featured in the Elle US spread. The Versus dress in particular …

 

Flaunt was sexy and edgy featuring some stunning pieces.

 

The February Vanity Fair issue showed off Kristen’s softer feminine side.

 

Credits: Polyvore

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Kristen’s 2010 Best Looks

It’s safe to say Kristen has surprised us all with some of her style choices this year. Below are my 15 of my favourite looks she gave us from 2010.

What was your favourite Kristen looks from the year? Let me know below and to all my readers who continue to visit this blog, myself and Maria wish you a Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year. May all your wishes come true in 2011.

Eclipse NYC Screening in Roland Mouret

 

Scream Awards in GUiSHEM & Oscars in Monique Lhuiller

 

David Letterman in Hervé Léger by Max Azria & The Runaways NYC Premiere in Emilio Pucci

 

Eclipse Korean Fan Event in Prabal Gurung & London Fashion Week Burberry Prorsum Fall Show in Burberry Prorsum

 

‘Welcome to the Rileys’ NYC Premiere in Valentino & Eclipse Sydney Q&A in Jenni Kanye

 

Eclipse Fan Event, Rome in Marchesa & Eclipse Fan Event, Stockholm in Zac Posen

 

Eclipse L.A Premiere in Elie Saab & Jimmy Kimmel Eclipse Special in Hervé Léger by Max Azria

 

The Runaways L.A Premiere in Doo.Ri & Eclipse Press Conference, Berlin in Versace

 

Credits: Polyvore

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i just can't

nip/tuck screencap

it was real.

ffffound

You were my first man. There have been lots of boys, and I loved them in an immature first love kind of way. But you were the first real thing. When we first met at a party, the connection was instant, but you left for the summer and the timing wasn’t right. I thought about you while you were gone, and we kept in touch even though we had only met once. Then you came back, and everything fell into place. It was so easy. One date and that was it. No games. No guessing if you liked me, no decoding your text messages, because I knew. And you knew. We would stay in bed until 4 if neither of us had class, making love, laying, talking, laughing. You were so sweet, and I was so consumed with love and excitement and happiness. I remember telling my friends about you, I couldn’t even think about you without smiling. My parents could tell this was different. Once I overheard my dad telling my uncle that he knew this was real, and how happy he was to see me with someone who treated me the way a dad wants his daughter to be treated. You were always scared that he didn’t like you because you were older, but I think your maturity was part of what he liked about you.

The summer came again, and you had to go away for work. I went home with you before you left, and I remember when you dropped me off at the bus station how scared I was to be without you. I was crying and you were there to wipe the tears away. It was the worst bus ride, all I could do was think about not seeing you for four months. I’ve never missed anyone like I missed you. It really did feel like part of me was missing. I think it was harder for me than for you because you were out on the road, and I was at home living our life only without you there. I missed everything about you. The way you smelled. The way it felt to lie beside you. Your jokes. Your laugh. I felt like I couldn’t laugh without you there. We talked on the phone and on skype, and we tried to keep the intimacy alive even if it was through a computer. It was a long summer, and when it got close to you coming home I was counting down the days. I wasn’t even tempted by other guys, you were all I could think about. I remember the night you got back, and I got rid of my roommates and planned a romantic dinner, and right before you got there I found a mouse in my kitchen. I had planned to jump on you and kiss you the second you walked through the door, and instead you found me terrified and flustered. But it didn’t matter. As soon as you were there it was like you had never left. And we were happy. And a month or so passed, and we did all the things we used to do. And it was perfect.

And then one day I woke up and it wasn’t. I can’t remember when things started to come undone, I don’t think it was any single thing, just our whole world. It was so gradual that I didn’t even notice it happening, but all of a sudden it was there. Or I guess it wasn’t there. The butterflies were gone. I used to hate how you would never fight with me and just let me win instead because I wanted the passion of the anger. Then we fought once. And then again. And then all we did was argue. Over nothing. Over everything. I don’t remember when we stopped making love, but you noticed and it made you insecure. And then we fought about that and it made me insecure. It was like we were going through the motions, nothing really changed except me. I wanted to want you like I used to, but between school and work and life somewhere I lost us. One night we were watching tv and I realized there was almost a foot of space between us. We used to cuddle so much sometimes I couldn’t tell which arms were mine. We talked about it, and we said we would try to make things better, and for a little while we did, but nothing really changed. I think I knew the end was coming, but couldn’t admit it to myself, or to you. Especially not to you. I think you knew too. You said all you needed to be happy was me, but I was the one who was making you hurt. One night we fought for so long, and then I let go of everything and we made love. And it was real, and it was passionate, and it was us. And I thought maybe that would make things better. And then within ten minutes, we were somehow angry again. I think that is when I really knew. Christmas break came, and we hoped the space would give us time to think and to miss each other. We said we would come back in the new year and start fresh. But when I got home, I met someone else. I’d always known him, but never really looked. It was just a crush, not what we had, but it reminded me of all the excitement and butterflies that I wasn’t feeling anymore. It became so obvious that we were done that I could finally say it out loud. At first I only said it to my close friends, and then I realized I had to say it to you. I couldn’t wait till we were together because you were going to spend so much money to travel and see me and I knew I couldn’t ask you to do that. So I called. My stomach was in knots. I tried to plan what to say but as soon as I heard your voice I couldn’t remember. We made small talk, and then I just blurted it out. And once I said it, it was there. I don’t know what I thought you were going to say, but you didn’t say anything. The silence was the worst part. You said you had to go, and that was it. over a year and it was over in 20 seconds. You called me the next day and we said all the things we were too scared to say before. It hurt like hell. It still does. You told me I was giving up on us. I guess I did. But we weren’t really us anymore.

You said you were going to leave town, you only stayed because of me anyways. Hearing you say that made me feel so alone. And I was scared that I would regret this, and you would be gone and it would be too late. I guess I just have to live with that now.

I hope you know I tried. And that I loved you. I really, really loved you, with everything I had. I couldn’t have asked for a better first real love. Im sorry that you got hurt along the way. I hope you don’t think I threw everything away. I think we just outgrew each other. I know it’s going to kill me when you find someone else. Seeing you hold her hand. I used to ask you “what are you thinking about right now?” whenever we were laying in bed. I still wonder. I probably always will.

It was real.

I probably should mention The 7 that I like

Tulee taas hieman erilaista tekstiä mitä aluks suunnittelin, mutta teen nyt ettei unohdu kokonaan, sillä mullahan on vieläkin tekemättä yks Kazuhiron haaste, mut se jää toiseen kertaan. :/

Anni ja Meri heittivät siis Beautiful Blogger -haasteen, jossa tehtävänä on kertoa 7 faktaa itestään ja laittaa tämä palkinto eteenpäin 7lle toiselle bloggaajalle. (oon kyl tosi huono tälläsis..)

Ja jotta tästä ei tulis niin ykstoikkosta nin lisäilen aiheeseen liittyviä kuvia ja hieman tarkempia selityksiä~ (ja yritän ettei siellä lukis mitään hei olen tyttö olen suomesta plaaplaaplaaaa.)

1. Oon oikeesti aika nörtti :--(

Eli ilman mangaa (ja animea) en ois pakosti innostunut mistään japani jutuista. :----D Ja vaikka tätä asiaa ei tuu otettuu esille, niin luen/katon joitain sarjoi aika paljonki. Ranma ½ oli siis eka manga minkä oon lukenu, ja edelleen yks rakkaimist ja sakeist mangoista mitä ei voi olla rakastamatta! Animeaki oon kattonu aika paljon, ja eka tais olla Sailor Moon, mutta _ihan kokonaan oon kattonu Kamikaze Kaitoun Jeannen. 

Nykyään mangoista ostelen Pichi Pichi Pichiä, mulle tutummin Mermaid Melodya (eikä saa nauraa, se on mun mielest oikeesti hyvä sarja ja rakastan sitä nostalgiaa lukiessa :´´´)♥). Ostaisin mieluusti muitaki mut rahat niukassa joten luen ne jossain muualla aina. :: D

Animen kannalta mun pitäs jatkaa Katekyo Hitman Reborn!-ien kattomista eteenpäin.

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2. Oon hieman ujo vaikkei kaikki uskoiskaan.

Tätä on itse asias vaikeeta ruveta selittämään. : Dd Koska periaattees en oo ujo mut toisaalta oon. Ehkä siihen liittyy huono itseluottamus ja liiallinen pelko mitä ihmiset aattelee musta, ja mun aika ylenen ajatus valitettavasti on se et jos yritän jutella jonkun kanssa on se että jaksaako se oikeesti mun seuraa. Joten siks tuun tosi iloseks jos joku oma-aloitteisesti haluaa tulla jotain juttelee, oli hieman tutumpi tai ei. :--)

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3. Kaunein nainen maailmassa imo on Kanako Kawabata.

Hassuu miten ennen tuskailin sitä et mitä jos multa kysytään tätä enkä osaa vastata, mut heti ku löysin tän naisen niin voin rehellisesti sanoo Kawabatan olevan yks suloisimmist ja kauneist ihmisisit mitä oon nähny. ♥ On varmaan kans aika normaalia jos ei osaa perustaa mikä siitä tekee niin söpön? (plussaa ainaki ihanimmasta hymystä ikinä! ,_,,)

Ja myönnän etten tiedä melkein ketään gyaru mallia, mut silti sanon että Kanako on se mun best favourite forever and that's it. >:( ♥

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4. En tiiä yhtään mitä haluun tulevaisuudessa tehdä tai olla.

Kiinnostusten kohteet, tyyli, harrastukset, kaverit, koulu.. Noi kaikki rassaa mua aina välillä. Miltä haluan näyttää, kiinnostaako mua liikunta, pysyykö samat kaverit, ja otan esille varsinki mun opiskelut.

Mulla ei oo periaattees enää kauan aikaa päättää minne haluun ylä-asteen jälkeen, enkä oo enää niin varma muutanko pois omalta paikkakunnalta. Mä kyl oikeesti niin toivosin sitä, pääsis oikeesti pois joidenki ihmisten/asioiden luota, mutta kyllä tänne jääkin samalla jotain. :/ Sitä paitsi oisko se lukio vai amis vai mikä, senki ku sais päättettyä. >;

4. Oon hyvätapainen.

Eli suomeksi hyvin kasvatettu lapsi. :---D En juo, en polta, en kiroile, oon kohtelias, ja yritän aina ottaa muut huomioon ja olla kaikkien kaveri. Ainakin yleensä. Mutta kukaan ei oo täydellinen joten voin olla jolleki tyypille se maailman rasittavin ihminen jota kukaan ei jaksa. :: D Toivon kuitenki ettei asia olis näin.

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5. Cute things lovelove♥
Food, people, clothes, everything cute make me feel so.. ;ω; Ostan yleensä aina turhaa rihkamaa jos se on ees jotenkin sulonen. Hyvänä esimerkkinä Keskiseltä tullesani omistan aina yhden Hello Kitty -huulirasvan enemmän, koska niistä saa niitä kännykkäkoruja. xxD

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 6. Tykkään ruuasta. (miks mulle tuli jotenki kauhee olo? xD)

En ekaks meinannu kehdata laittaa tätä tähän mut to be honest, oon oikeesti kauhee syöppö. :´´´´´´D Oli sitte mäkkiruoka tai vadelmia niin ruoka on hyvää. :----( ♥

7. Oon aika kova pelaa pleikkaa. ;----)
Vaikka pelaanki ikivanhalla Playstation ykkösellä, nii siihen on kuitenki tehty yksiä maailman parhaimpia pelejä ettei mitään rajaa! Viimeks pelasin läpi Spyro 2, ja olin siitä siks nii ylpee et se oli eka kerta ku pelasin sen alusta loppuun aivan itse. 8) Koska pienempänä se oli sitä 'veli tuu auttamaa en päihitä loppista :(::(:((:(:(::('. asd. ::---D

Siinä se oli, yritän tehdä yhden postauksen enne joulua, koska tapahtuu yhtä sun toista niin en sitten ehdi pariin päivään päivitellä.. ;) Byebye! ♥